What does executioner say to condemned man at the gallows?

Genital Contractors

I said May bee.

A man is lying on his deathbed. He smells his favorite cookies being baked by his wife downstairs. He thinks about how wonderful she is as he crawls out of bed, down the stairs and into the kitchen. Just as he’s reaching for a cookie his wife slaps his hand and says, “Don’t touch those, they’re for your funeral!”

Woke up to take shower and the faucet handle came off, went to shave and his last blade fell off, went to leave the house and the door handle fell off. Then he had an urge but was afraid to go to the bathroom.

"It took me forty eight minutes to ejaculate inside a woman," shared one of the attendees. "That's nothing," I replied. "It took me 41 years."

They both take off when things get too tired!

To show he wasn't chicken.

I remember laughing at these for like an hour a couple years ago! I also saw a post like this from 2 years ago, on this subreddit, so credit to that guy for this idea. My favourites: "Hey! Use your own hairbrush!", Tom bristled. "Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete!", Tom repeated. "Woah! Is that Spider-Man?", Tom marvelled.

It was a Clawed Monet.